Teen's catfishing? You won't believe what it really means.
Not everyone on the internet is who they claim to be. That’s no revelation to most parents, whose primary fear is that an adult predator will put on a fake persona to target their child. But it turns out, teens can be the predators, too. In other ways, however, the vastness of the Internet, and especially its ability to mask one's true identity, can be harmful and even deadly to our children. One trend that can be harmful has recently gained attention in both media is catfishing. Catfishing is the term given to creating a false profile online in order to deceive others (Alter Egos). The majority of cases are to pursue a romantic situation with someone else. A person will make up an entire identity, sometimes even creating a whole history and network of family and friends that do not exist, in order to get someone to share personal information and romance with them.What motivates one to try out a faux online identity? Here’s a few variations to look out for.
1) The instigator: ‘Catfishing' got its name from the 2010 documentary-turned MTV show Catfish, where one man shrugged off his wife’s deceptive behavior as keeping things lively — just as catfish do when captive in a net full of fish. There are those who seem to deceive just because they can, to get a rise or reaction from their victim.
2) The freedom-fighter: Teens often create an alter ego in order to find a space where they can freely express themselves, without the lurking eyes of mom, dad, or even cool aunt Sue.
3) The attention-seeker: One popular twitter account convinced followers she was suffering a terminal illness, generating an outpouring of online sympathy, in order to get the attention of (and followed by) her celebrity crush.
4) The grudge-holder: Some hide behind a fake identity to mete out cruel behavior, either out of jealousy, spite or feeling wronged. In the tragic case of Megan Meier, her former friend/neighbor created a fake love interest that cruelly turned on her, ultimately driving the 13-year-old to take her own life.
5) The gender-bender: In some cases, teens have been known to take on the persona of the opposite sex, possibly as a kind of safe place for the exploration of gender identity.
6) The hopelessly-insecure: A fake profile can simply be a passport to creating a more confident, popular version of oneself than exists in the real world.
7) The love-sick: This catfisher thinks if he or she can only make the object of their affection fall in love with the “real” person inside, they’ll look beyond the superficial. Alternatively, a fake suitor can be used to make one’s real-life crush jealous, as allegedly was the motivation behind the debunked UVA/Rolling Stone article about a woman claiming a campus rape.
Catching a Catfisher:
So, here you are falling in love with and divulging personal information to someone you really don’t know. You begin to trust and feel as though you really know this person. Before long your “friend” may want to “meet up” or “hook up”. Sure, you may be thinking, "I’d never do that," but what about a vulnerable and desperate teen who has a strong desire for love and acceptance? Can they resist the urge? According to a study released in the 2013 February Journal of Pediatrics it doesn't seem so. In fact, 30% of teen girls in the study admitted that they met up with a stranger in person after initially meeting them online. This is extremely concerning as predators seek out these vulnerable teens and their intentions can range from sexual relations to something as severe as sex trafficking.
As always, remind your teen to be wary when connecting with strangers they do not know in real life, and to look out for these signs they are being played: The person can never meet up, and always has sympathetic reasons for not doing so; they won’t give you a physical address where they live; their posts come at a time incongruous with their physical time zone; they claim not to have access to Skype or FaceTime; their social media seems to have few followers, and photos use few tags.
Is it possible for your teen to carry out an act of catfishing? Of course! As I scoped the internet for information on teens and young adults creating fake accounts and interacting with others under false pretenses. I did find some sites where teens openly admitted to creating fake accounts. And get this... they admitted to knowing it was wrong, but said they couldn't stop. It was as though these catfishing teens had an obsession with fictitious relationships and were engaging in a romantic type of SIMS game or virtual reality, only they were messing with real people.
Aside from being desperate for a loving relationship, some people create fake personas in an effort to hurt another - which, as mentioned earlier, crosses the line into bullying. Plain and simple, creating fake profiles with the intent to hurt another person is cyberbullying. There have been numerous cases where teens, and sometimes adults who create fake profiles, were later charged with defamation and emotional distress. For all those who think it's fun to mess around with other people's emotions, it's not and if you get caught, the consequences can be severe. For adults, in regard to cyberbullying, it’s important to teach teens the value of treating one another kindly both on and offline.
Parents, if you find out that your teen has become an online catfisher (alter ego), it's important to speak with him/her about the repercussions of his/her actions. If you find that your teen is abusing his/her online privileges then you may have to step in and safeguard him/her through strict parental monitoring. There are Internet browsers that you can use to keep track of the sites your teen is visiting. Make sure you are following them on social media apps to make sure they are using one identity. Send them stuff and see how long it takes them to respond. Randomly grab their phone and look at these apps and see who they are logged in as. Often times you can catch them red handed. I caught my daughter sharing an account with a friend and they we saying stupid things and acting like idiots. I put a stop to that real fast! However, she had two accounts so there was really no way for me to know this until I went onto their phone to check. A friend recently told me of a relative's child that was posting vulgar and sexual statements on Twitter and professed to her parents that this was her alter ego! I'm sorry, but I am a believer in if you say something, you meant or you would have never said to to begin with. The spoken word ALWAYS has meaning. Do not let you kids hide behind phrases like "it wasn't me", " it's my alter ego", or "my friends took my phone"! We must be firm in our convictions as parents. You know when they are not telling the truth. Listen to your guts, it's usually always right.
